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Military mom leaves behind special gifts for husband, kids to find during six-month deployment

The Watauga Democrat - 4/9/2018

On a cold early April morning, Trystan and Teegan Holm woke up to two unfamiliar stuffed animals on their dressers.

The bear and bunny, built specially for them, included a special surprise: their mom's voice.

Cheryl Holm left last week for a six-month deployment with the Air Force. The stuffed animals were just one small way she's showing her kids, who are 9 and 6, how much she loves them while she's away.

Deployments are nothing new to the Holm children - their dad, Bryan, is also active duty Air Force and has been on nine deployments already. But having mom go is a first.

The Holms, stationed at Offutt Air Force Base in Bellevue, found out in August that Cheryl would be deployed. She volunteered for the deployment after talking it over with Bryan.

When they announced the news to the kids, they were "pretty accepting," she said, though it got harder as her departure date grew closer.

"They knew mommy was going to the desert to fight bad guys," said Cheryl, who is an intelligence analyst. "And then I'll be back home with them."

Before she left, Cheryl carefully - and secretly - planned a few ways to make sure Bryan and the kids would know she was thinking of them while she was gone.

In addition to the bears, Cheryl also got each of her children special subscription boxes that will be delivered to them each month while she is gone. She is also planing a special surprise for each of their birthdays - including her husband - while she's away.

And months before she left, she prepared 19 "open when" envelopes for Bryan: "open when you're stressed out," "open when you want to think about our future," "open if you're bored" and "open if you miss me." There's even one to open when it's the last week of her deployment.

"I want him to know that just because I'm not physically there, I'm still with him. I still care (about) and love him," she said.

Cheryl said the deployment will be hard on each of her children, especially Teegan, who is very much a mama's girl.

"(My daughter) looks up to me. Every time I turn around, she wants to dress just like me, do things like me and even do makeup like me," she said.

Two months before leaving, it really set in that she was leaving for so long. A month before she left, she started getting more anxious and sad.

"I knew this was a choice that I had made, but I have never left my family for that long. As the time grew closer, the sadness got stronger," she said.

The family was out to dinner the night before Cheryl left when 6-year-old daughter Teegan kept squeezing her arm saying, "I don't want you to go mommy. You can't go."

"And then she got quiet while still squeezing my arm," she said. "When I looked at her, she had tears rolling down her face in the restaurant. That's when I lost it."

Cheryl said it'll be a challenge for her husband to deal with the emotional support she provides the kids. It'll also be interesting, she noted, for him to figure out how to do Teegan's hair and all the things that come with being a girl.

But Bryan has taken plenty of notes.

When Cheryl went to Mississippi for training for a few weeks in January, the family's hair dresser - who they've known since they moved to Omaha in 2008 - taught him how to use a straightening iron on Teegan's hair.

They also have a great support system of friends, who have volunteered to help with the kids while Bryan, who works in the intelligence field, is flying.

Cheryl knows her family, particularly her kids, will be well taken care of. "My husband is a great dad and will do whatever it takes to ensure our kids are happy and taken care of."

But she does worry how much they'll miss her.

When that happens, Bug and Lion - the kids' nicknames - will have tons of great reminders of mom around them, particularly that adorable bear and bunny.

And with a squeeze of a paw, they'll hear her, too: "I love you, and I miss you. I'll see you soon."